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Quotes and Suchlike

Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law, but I reserve the right to edit this page when I'm particularly bored...

  • You will achieve, wealth, happiness, and Twinkies(tm).

  • in bed.

  • Duct tape is all you need.

  • When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

  • And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and to know the place for the first time. (TS Eliot)

  • Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

  • Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons! - BATF

  • Light is both wave and particle. - Ellen Gilchrist

  • One might call it a wavicle thing...

  • Apollo 13: further proof that duct tape really is all you need

  • Isn't it odd that so many pro-lifers are also in favor of capital punishment?

  • Throw 'em back, get 'em when they're bigger (any fisherman)

  • Tobacco kills millions of people every year... and we outlawed saccharin... because a rat died. - George Carlin

  • i want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

  • ....not screaming in terror like his passengers.

  • if you were born to hang, you'll never drown.

  • Tobacco killed 40,000,00 in the last ten years, and there have been no arrests.

  • Hemp led to 10,000,000 arrests in the last ten years, and there have been no deaths.

  • $$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt

  • (c) Copywight 1992 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

  • "There's this assumption that someone else's behavior is a product of your actions, when in fact it is a product of their character alone." - Dr. Laura

  • "If you owe the bank a million, you have a problem. - If you owe the bank a billion, the bank has a problem." - Rafaat el-Sayed (who did owe bank a billion)

  • You can't be a beacon if your light don't shine - anon.

  • heh heh, hm heh, heh heh, heh, heh, hm, hm, cool. - idiots everywhere

  • Never become good friends with a girl you would like to date!!!!

  • On a pub lavatory wall: The beer you think you bought is only rented.

  • women who strive to be men's equals lack ambition

  • Sure it's portable! It runs under both versions of Windows!

  • MS-Windows: the fast food on the operating system menu

  • "You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong." -Abraham Lincoln

  • Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.

  • "What are politicians going to tell people when the Constitution is gone and we still have a drug problem?" -- William Simpson, A.C.L.U.

  • "The information superhighway is a revolution that in years to come will transcend newspapers, radio, and television as an information source. Therefore, I think this is the time to put some restrictions on it." - U.S. Senator James Exon

  • A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe, _Technology Review_, April, 1992

  • "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." - Hector Berlioz (1803-1869). French composer.

  • The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. -- William Clayton

  • "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it" - George Bernard Shaw

  • Back to fortune cookies, I got one that said: "Never take advice from a fortune cookie". Now I'm stuck.

  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

  • Friends don't let friends do AIX.

  • ...Then anyone who leaves behind him a written manual, and likewise anyone who receives it, in the belief that such writing will be clear and certain, must be exceedingly simple-minded. -- Plato, _Phaedrus_

  • Oh, this beats hell out of work!

  • Government involvement is a slippery slope - it is too easy for the best of intentions to become the worst of regulations.
      -NW

  • Data is not Information is not Knowledge is not Intelligence is not Wisdom

  • while friends come and go...the Song Remains the Same...

  • Blackie the Hedgehog

  • rorrim a ni siht daeR

  • HANDGUNS BANNED IN UK..WATCH OUT USA ...YOU COULD BE NEXT

  • message to all UK handgun owners WRITE TO YOUR MP NOW.. USE IT OR LOSE IT 

  • This is what is commonly referred to as a clueler:

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          1         2         3         4         5         6         7
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  • Make no laws whatever concerning speech and, speech will be free; so soon as you make a declaration on paper that speech shall be free, you will have a hundred lawyers proving that "freedom does not mean abuse, nor liberty license;" and they will define and define freedom out of existence.
      -- Voltarine de Cleyre (1866-1912)

  • I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophile

  • Some acts are so evil that they can only be done in the name of God

  • How did the fool and their money get together in the first place??

  • Ah for the wisdom of youth, the energy of the elderly.

  • why do dutch people wear wooden shoes? to keep the woodpeckers away from their heads.

  • WATCH OUT FOR THE WOODPECKERS!

  • "Sorry, can't come in to work today. Why? Religious reasons. It's the feast of maximum occupancy."

  • once again lost in new york. love, florida

  • There once was a guy from Nantucket... Oh wait, that goes on the Limericks section. Damn!

  • "If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron."

  • When you can't program your VCR, it's New Year's Eve all year long...

  • Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

  • Do the cops a favor, beat yourself up!

  • I can see clearly now, the brain is gone ......

  • Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home,

  • 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

  • I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? (S.C. Greven)

  • Life is trippy, life is loose, the coffin is not the objective. -Jenny

  • The opposite of talking isn't listening, the opposite of talking is waiting. -- Fran Lebovitz

  • mike's rule of thumb: NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

  • Rehab is for quitters

  • Never fall in love , It will stick to your face.............

  • I was trying to prove I could do it and come out alive. -- Eric Clapton

  • God said let there be imagination and we created ourselves. ER

  • Tobacco doesn't kill half as many people as I'm going to if they outlaw it! CP!

  • Insanity is hereditary ... you get it from your kids !

  • ahuck! -Goofy

  • Oops...

  • "Men should be like Kleenex-soft, strong, and disposable." -"Clue"

  • I'm big.

  • "Blackness dwells inside us all, the sane ones choose to show it..." Virginia Raven

  • Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left !

  • This is a world where the creatures kill each other. For food. For religion. For politics. For fun.

  • i wish i were queer so i could get chicks...

  • Very funny scotty! Now, beam down my clothes!

  • Wat een onzin allemaal, en ik heb er nog tijd in gestoken ook!

  • enne.... dutch people dragen geen wooden shoes.... zeker nooit in NL geweest!

  • If more people killed with guns and the majority ruled,then it would be against the law not to own one - NRA.

  • read this some where.....you can get more out of life with a gun and a kind word then with just with a kind word.

  • You're given a birth, you're guaranteed a death, what you do in between is all up to you.

  • I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. -- Winston Churchill

  • If you're not having fun, you're just a place where cells divide.

  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire

  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

  • "The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship." -- Lazarus Long

  • fire! fire! fire! - more idiots everywhere

  • when you fall in love you only end up falling..luv sux!!!!!

  • "The lot of critics is to be remembered by what they failed to understand" - George Moore

  • "Knowledge advances by steps, and not by leaps" - Thomas Batington

  • "female baboons, when they're sexually aroused, walk on their tiptoes" - Gucci designer Tom Ford on the logic behind women in high heels, US Vogue September 1997

  • "I'll not listen to reason...Reason always means what someone else has got to say" - Elizabeth Gaskell

  • "Cheer up! The worst is yet to come!" - Philander Chase Johnson

  • All theory, my friend, is grey - Goethe

  • Reasoning is but reckoning - Hobbes

  • Nothing is confused, except the mind. What is invisible cannot be hidden from our eyes. There is moonlight and the locomotives are returning from the sea. - Rene Magritte

  • Gabriel Marcel - " We do not study problems of philosophy, we are those problems."

  • Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick it once and you will suck forever.

  • Drape the servants in their most splendorous chains!

  • In 1997, the six governments which executed the greatest number of people per capita were China, Iran, Iraq, Nigeria, Florida and Texas.

  • Rule #1 - There is always a victim

  • Rule #2 - Don't be the victim

  • To be is to do - Socrates

  • To do is to be - Sartre

  • Do be do be do - Sinatra

  • duh-Tina

  • "The Church says that the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen its shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church." -Ferdinand Magellan

  • "I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." -Pablo Picasso

  • "In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip." -Daniel L. Reardon

  • "When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap." -Cynthia Heimel

  • "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." -Helen Keller

  • "I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
    - Rita Mae Brown

  • "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -George Bernard Shaw

  • "All miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone." -Pascal

  • "Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." -Marie Curie

  • Ignorance is the opiate of the masses. Religion is the pipe.

  • Monica Lewinsky, on CNN's "Larry King Live" discussing her miraculous Jenny Craig weight-loss: "I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me"

  • "A congressman is the best investment you can make. Or better yet, buy several of them." - from the Corporate Media Conglomerate HOWTO

  • "Microsoft and McDonalds are alike. They don't make the best, but they make the most." - comment at slashdot.org

  • You should all get a real job. Maybe making bumper stickers or something.

  • "Knowledge of others is wisdom, knowledge of oneself is enlightenment." - Lao Tzu

  • Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause.

  • Life is but a dream, made of things not what they seem...silver drops of broken time, falling on your road and mine.

  • Help control the idiot population. Have your local sorority or fraternity member spayed or neutered.

  • Moral indignation: jealousy with a halo.

  • It's enough to give me wacky brain syndrome.

  • Lonely cannibal seeks cute asian hottie non-smoker preferred----canadiancannibal@email.com

  • Repetition is the mother of retention

  • The Difference between and madman and I is that I am not mad. - Dali

  • The one who dies with the most toys wins

  • Never step between two mirrors!

  • "The scorpion strikes those who decieve" - David Buckles

  • If I heard something like that was going happening to MY penis, the next sound you hear would be the guys with the chainsaws cutting the roof off my house, so the helicopter could drop the basket down and airlift me to the nearest hospital. - Adam Corolla

  • Those who would give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary security deserve neither -Ben Franklin

  • go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.

  • Those who know can't explain. Those who don't can't understand. - Dangerous Sports

  • Only the weak are cruel, kindness can only be expected from the strong. -Leo Buscaglia (left here by rodentia_confidentia@yahoo.com)

  • "I have no doubt that every new example will succeed, as every past one has done, in shewing that religion and Government will both exist in greater purity the less they are mixed together." - James Madison

  • "The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church." - Magellan

  • "The question before the human race is, whether the God of nature shall govern the world by his own laws, or whether priests and kings shall rule it by fictitious miracles?" - John Adams, 1815

  • "God is an essence that we know nothing of. Until this awful blasphemy is got rid of, there never will be any liberal science in the world." - John Adams again

  • "As the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Muslims ... it is declared ... that no pretext arising from religious opinion shall ever product an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries...." - Treaty of Tripoli, written by John Barlow and signed by John Adams

  • "Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of sXXXch, or the right of the people peaceably to XXXemble, and to peXXXion the government for a redress of grievances." - Marc Rotenberg, EPIC

  • If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!!

  • Yea but sometimes the world blows!?!?!?

  • I suppose when it gets to that point, we shan't know how it does it. -- Turing

  • Avoid criticism.........DO NOTHING.....T-Bone

  • Everyone is someone else's weirdo!

  • Believe me when I tell you, life will not break your heart.

  • ... It'll crush it!

  • -Henry Rollins

  • what the hek is this?

  • In this world, the inmates are running the asylum.

  • I'm not a vegatarian because I love animals. I hate plants.

  • "The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues." -- Elizabeth Taylor

  • You don't have much to say about the length of your life, but you have a lot to say about the breadth and depth.

  • "All Truth passes through Three Stages:

  • First, it is Ridiculed
  • Second, it is Violently Opposed

  • Third, it is Accepted as being Self-Evident" ----Arthur Schopenhauer (1778-1860)

  • Getting old sucks, but it still beats the alternative.

  • The trouble with someone who talks too fast is that they often say something they haven't thought of yet. - anon

  • To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup:

  • Whenever you're wrong, admit it. Whenever you're right, shut up!

  • It is not a sign of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. - Krishnamurti

  • When your education exceeds your ability to find meaning in what you know, it's time to sit back and reflect a while.

  • I can't wait until high school is back in session and this nonsense (Code Red IIS worn) takes a back seat... - Keith McCammon

  • Sign on McDonald's door: "No shirt, No shoes, No Service". Kinda makes you wonder what else they don't have.

  • Life is like a shit sandwich , THE MORE BREAD YOU HAVE.. THE LESS SHIT YOU HAVE TO EAT!

  • "Hey Nate, just saw the site, nice setup..." -the_druid

  • Jewz fer Jezus!!! Yessum!! -the_druid

  • God motherfuckingdamnit! (in that potty-mouth mood)

  • -the_druid

  • Hmm, it's been five minutes since I felt like defacing your site... -the_druid

  • ... the_druid

  • Everyone says cats are so clean. But, look at them - they've got cat hair all over them!

  • The only way to get rid of temptation is to give into it [Wilde]

  • Make like a hockey player and get the puck out of here [Matt Groening in one of his books]

  • A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks!

  • I am woman hear me roar... RRRROARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

  • Make love... not war... except in the case of Osama bin Laden!

  • I love ta love ya, baby... I love ta love ya , baby..... Donna Summer

  • Natescape provides soothing relief for: indigestion, upset stomach, nausea, heartburn, diarrhea and bedsores....

  • What about them damn fatal errors?

  • Once a king always a king but once a night is enough...

  • Ever gotten a CGI Timout? I've gotten one that's said, "I want to make love to you CGI Timeout." CGI Timeouts are sexy.

  • hi

  • hmm

  • haha

  • "The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all." -- H. L. Mencken

  • 'If I'd known how famous he was going to become, I would have had my uterus bronzed.' -- Steven Spielberg's Mom

  • To iterate is human; to recurse, divine. - Ossi Vaananen

  • "I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers 1879-1935

  • It's not that you should think less of yourself, you just need to think of yourself less.

  • A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "That was %@#$%%&^ awesome."

  • Friends teach you want you want to know.

  • Enemies teach you what you need to know.

  • Give a man a fire and you keep him warm for a night.

  • Set him on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

  • I will say once again <font size="999" ptsize="999">JESUS LOVES YOU!</FONT>

  • And he does :-*

  • Do unto others as they would do unto you, and do it first.

  • With a 999-sized font? Jesus, save me from your followers.

  • If you want to write a good program, write two and throw the first one away. - Donald Knuth

  • "This is the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put." -- Winston Churchill

  • Hell, I learned Fortran back when it was Threetran. - Stu Lucas

  • "A child is ignorant if she doesn't know what adults want her to know, but innocent if she doesn't know what adults don't want her to know." --Jenny Kitzinger, Children, Power, and the Struggle against Sexual Abuse

  • To err is human; to not laugh, humane.

  • My mother never saw the irony when she called me a sonofabitch. - Jack Nicholson (maybe, allegedly, possibly anyhow)

  • WARP 1 engage....................kapjax

  • I'm gonna kick your ass so hard, it's gonna kill your damn ancestors! - Chest Beater

  • Some code to remember, some code to forget - #winprog

  • Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

  • Schizophrenia has its drawbacks, but at least you're never alone.

  • "Smart is beautiful." - Altavista

  • "Ignorance is hip." - Everybody else

  • "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did." --George Carlin

  • Being a Mensan doesn't mean you have to be a pedant. - Ian Hadley

  • The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. - Bertrand Russel

  • "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." - Homer Simpson

  • Moby Dick wouldn't have been quite the same if the first words had been "Hi, I'm Bob" - Current on #mensa

  • # Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. - George Bernard Shaw

  • I look forward to the day when I can look at my president and say "He's a better man than I." - opendna on www.kuro5hin.org

  • During the space race back in the '60's, NASA was faced with a major problem. The astronaut needed a pen that would write in the vacuum of space. NASA went to work. At a cost of $1.5 million they developed the "Astronaut Pen". Some of you may remember. It enjoyed minor success on the commercial market.

  • The Russians were faced with the same dilemma. They used a pencil. Paradox05

  • The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume that you're pretentious. - Anon.

  • Religion is what the common people see as true, the wise people see as false, and the rulers see as useful. - "Seneca"

  • [...] people bother me when they clap themselves on the back and say, we're supporting our troops. No, you're not. If you're driving a big gas- guzzling car, you're actually making it more likely that those troops will have to go somewhere in the world to defend that oil [...] - Bill Maher

  • Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich. - Wendi

  • Stupid hurts. - Gary Rothwell, motorcycle stunt guy

  • The plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data.'

  • Proposed bumper stickers for SUVs:

  • SUPPORT OPEC - BURN MORE GASOLINE

  • SMALL HANDS, SMALL FEET - BIGGEST SUV I COULD AFFORD

  • A logical thinker provides a nice contrast to the real world.

  • Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

  • The pens-and-pencils-in-space thing is an urban legend, by the way.

  • make it good!!!

  • "Nothing is on fire, but the day is still young" -- Phil the Canuck

  • "When a man is wrapped up in himself he makes a pretty small package." - John Ruskin (1819-1900)

  • Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

  • "I would like to be able to admire a man's opinions as I would his dog - without being expected to take it home with me." - Frank A. Clark

  • If everything is under control, you are going too slow. - Mario Andretti

  • The world is moving so fast these days that the person who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it. - Fosdick

  • What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • The man who thinks he knows it all has merely stopped thinking.

  • To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity. - William Arthur Ward

  • Honesty is the first chapteR in the book of wisdom. - Thomas Jefferson

  • A man never shows his own character so plainy as by the way he portrays another's. - Jean Paul Richter

  • The more we study, the more we discover our ignorance. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

  • This is the final test of a gentleman--his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him. - William Lyon Phelps

  • The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet - James Oppenheim

  • Vision without action is a daydream, action without a vision is a nightmare. - Japanese Proverb

  • Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." - Disraeli

  • Q: How many people belonging to a certain ethnic group does it take to perform a particular menial activity?

  • A: A finite positive integer! One to perform the activity, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical of their ethnic group.

  • Members of three different ethnic groups confront a challenging situation. The first two handle it ok, but the third goofs it all up.

  • Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.

  • Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

  • "Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable." - Laurence Peter

  • Many people mistakenly believe that the plural of "anecdote" is "proof."

  • God Bless America, where laws are passed to protect people from the legal system. - AC on /.

  • I can't be mad if I know I'm mad. That drives me crazy. - Dan O'Donovan

  • That's not a combover, it's a barcode.

  • I shave with Occam's Razor. - Dwayne C

  • Profanity: The linguistic crutch of inarticulate bastards

  • If we can't think for ourselves, if we're unwilling to question authority, then we're just putty in the hands of those in power. - Carl Sagan

  • A dirty mind is a joy forever. - Dragonfly

  • Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. (There is no great genius without madness.) - Seneca

  • The Founding Fathers framed the U.S. Constitution so as to protect Americans from democracy.

  • This system is stupid, I repeat this system is stupid.

  • If I was god, lightning would strike stupid people more often. - JB

  • Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock.

  • Don't let one bad apphole spoil the whole bunch.

  • If crime doesn't pay, what's all this talk about the wages of sin? - NFW

  • Most people are looking for intelligent life in space. I haven't given up Earth yet. - Kjella

  • The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated. - Ghandi

  • The wise talk because they have something to say; the fools talk because they have to say something. - anonymous (but wise)

  • Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

  • Knowledge is knowing a street is one way. Wisdom is still looking in both directions. - dubious9

  • OOP widens the gap between smart and not-so-smart programmers. Those who find themselves on the wrong side of that gap eagerly grasp onto any anecdotal evidence that OOP itself was a bad idea. - levsen @ K5

  • Those who are kind to the cruel will be cruel to the kind - The Talmud

  • I would rather have the last laugh than the last word. - Neal Vonada

  • There are places for people who attempt to counter force with words, terrorism with pacifism. They're called cemetaries. - NFW

  • Once a man has attempted to seize the power of the state to impose his view of the good life, he can expect nothing except for others to return the favor. - Mark Da Cunha

  • You're clearly typing much faster than you're thinking. - RobotSlave on K5

  • A Democratic politician is someone who pretends to care about the poor while sipping a $150 chardonnay while a Republican politician is someone who pretends to care about defense while selling arms to the people hate America. - ucblockhead @ K5

  • "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

  • A fool and his money are soon venture capital. - Shoten on /.

  • A fine is a tax for doing ill. A tax is a fine for doing well.

  • The truth comes out when your drunk. - MLW

  • “Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly, ever acquire the skill to execute difficult things easily” - Johan Schiller

  • "One day, some people came to the master and asked: "How can you be so happy in a world of such impermanence, where you cannot protect your loved ones from harm, illness, and death?" The master held up a glass and said: "Someone gave me this glass, and I really like this glass. It holds my water admirably and it glistens in the sunlight. One day the wind may blow it off the shelf, or my elbow may knock it from the table. I know this glass is already broken, so I enjoy it incredibly." --Achaan Chan Subato, Theravadan meditation master

  • They asked me if I exercise. Hell no! I don't believe in excorcism. I don't believe for one single, solitary minute that putting myself through a regular ordeal is going to rid me of my demons. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • "We're a virus with shoes." -Bill hicks

  • An inquiry submitted to the advice columnist Abigail Van Buren: My husband will only make love to me if I lay in a bathtub full of ice and remain absolutely still. I do not particularly enjoy this. Do you think something is wrong with me?

  • For a really good time, call 206-361-8461 in the U.S. Neal Vonada

  • "The root of evil lies not in the committing of base acts, but rather in the attempt to apprehend the sublime on the part of those not morally prepared to do so." Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • I am in shape. Round is a shape! <grin> ~ZerendipT

  • They asked me if I play an instrument. And how I do! I play the strumpet. Quite the virtuosita I am too.

  • The strumpet line's mine. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • Hey, Zer: See the limerick I dedicated to you on the limerick link. Doreen ;0)

  • When people ask me what I do for a living I tell them that I'm a vampire. When they look at me oddly or laugh I ask: "If I told you that I'm a banker, lawyer or psychiatrist would I be a more respectable sort of a bloodsucker in your estimation?"

  • Oops, forgot to take credit for that one too. I, Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan, am the bloodsucker unworthy of respect in the eyes of the bourgeois.

  • Nobody bothered to ask how I am today, but had someone I just might have told the truth. My health is failing. My stamina is so low that it lies as a stagnant pool around my swollen ankles. My self-respect may be buried somewhere under the floor tiles, but I have neither the strength nor the will to conduct an extensive dig for it. My sense of humor is in a coma. My libido is in an advanced state of rigor mortis. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • "Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life." - Immanuel Kant

  • In my experience, all Jewish mothers are everyones mother. ;-)))) R.

  • B.A.S.E. jumping saved my life!

  • Fear is the mother of mortality.

  • When I was younger, I could remember everything , whether it really happened or not ! ( MRW )

  • When I was younger, I could remember everything , whether it really happened or not ! ( MRW )

  • I forgot that I already put this up here !!!!! ( MRW )

  • If you put clothing on a crusifix, does that make you a cross dresser? ( MRW )

  • Thank You for doing business with us. Our credit manager is Helen Wait, so if you want credit, GO TO HELL AND WAIT !

  • Why do we drive on Parkways and park on Driveways ? ? ?

  • The drunker I sit here, the longer I get. (www.CreativeDesignStudios.com)

  • Why do we drive on Parkways and park on Driveways ? ? ?

  • RReeaadd bbeettwweenn tthhee lliinneess

  • Hi Theresa, You are the love of my life. Michael.

  • This new reducing diet is really working! I'm not losing any weight, but I am getting shorter. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • Comforting thought of the day: There is an infinite number of women with my mind and Carmen Electra's looks who do not have to clean for Passover in infinite parallel universes – some perhaps as close as 10^10^497 meters away, give or take. Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • Who would want to have sex with someone with silicone implants? - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • Answer: Someone who doubted the prowess of their partner and feared getting into a terrible accident. Thus the need for inflatable bags. Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • I'm too much of a rebel to be schizophrenic. I'd just tell any voices that told me what to do to go to hell. Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan - Free Floating Radical

  • As Poets make of themselves unrequited lovers, so Anarchists make of themselves Proletarians. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • The limerent object of the Anarchist is all of Humanity. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • When I consider the various schools of Judaism, such as they are nowadays; I feel like Goldilocks. One is too hard, a second too soft, yet a third too middling – and all entirely too Procrustean. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • I wonder what I will be when humanity grows up. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • There is no greater obstacle to knowledge of God than belief. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • My son is teaching himself to play guitar. His playing causes me to wax philosophical – Strum und Twang. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anybody. – attributed to Audrey Hepburn

  • I've done it! It's my tour de force. It's the crowning achievement of decades of not only theoretical rumination, but endeavoring to live according to the principles I hold most dear. I have not only defined and elucidated the precepts, but attained the level of being the living embodiment of my ideation. I have thus formulated the basis of a new movement, which I am absolutely convinced is the one and only hope for all sentient beings and to which I intend to convert the entire world – by force if need be.

  • I have yclept it Anarcho-Anachro-Nacro-Necro-Narcissism.

  • As the name clearly suggests; Anarcho-Anachro-Nacro-Necro-Narcissism is believing that one is oh, so special because one lives in a stuporous, stateless state which is out of, probably irrelevant to and almost definitely inconsequential and undesirable in any given time frame. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • The contention that an efficacious programme of ethnic cleansing has been implemented in "Palestine" is patently preposterous. Preposterous, I tell you. Israel remains as ethnically grotty and squalid as ever it was. - D2, Queen Doreen of Eire, also the Founder and Sole Devotee of Anarcho-Anachro-Nacro-Necro-Narcissism

  • The dow that can be pronounced is not a blue chip dow. D-Tzy

  • Hi Nate. I was just quoting a quote I think, now I can't find it to verify. Neal V. How about if you ID yourself near beginning of your quotes because it googles under my name and they think it my sturff. nealvon@comcast.net Let me know if you get this.

  • Ever notice how the most nugatory statements are the most averred? - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • Why do you think I've had too much to drink? I've only had tee martoonies. MRW

  • Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool ? MRW

  • If we are put on this earth to help others, then what are the others here for? MRW

  • Where there's a will there may very well be a codicil. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • Mommy! Mommy! I don't want to go to camp! Shut up and keep writing subversive essays. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

  • Bats are the quintessence of what creation looks like when God and Satan collaborate. Humans are the apotheosis. - Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan

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