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This isn't a really a rant, in the sense of the others, it's more satire really. I didn't even write it (nor do I know who did). Still, it's interesting enough that I feel it deserves a place here.

While the Bible contains much guidance of great value, it is clearly not something that we can take literally, word-for-word. After reading this, it should be no surprise that many of the southern slave-owners considered themselves Christian and kept their slaves with a clear conscience.

It should also be clear that we cannot continue to persecute each other today on the basis of a book that explicitly endorses segregation, slavery, and killing.

 Dear Dr. Laura,

  Thank you for doing so much to educate people
  regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from
  you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many
  people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
  homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him
  that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
  abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from
  you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and
  how to best follow them.

  When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I
  know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.
   1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor
  is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

  I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it
  suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do
  you think would be a fair price for her?

  I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
  while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness
  (Lev. 15:19-24).  The problem is, how do I tell? I have
  tried asking, but most women take offense.

  Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the
  nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims
  that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can
  you clarify?

  I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
  Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put
  to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 

  I know you have studied these things extensively, so
  I am confident you can help. Thank you again for
  reminding us that God's word is eternal and
  unchanging.

                        A Fan

Eternal and unchanging? Oh dear.