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We all know this means $249.99.

This is stupid.
Is there a single consumer left alive on the planet who hasn't caught on yet? Is there a sales / marketing dweeb who still believes that people will be fooled by this?

Of course not, but the practice has so much momentum behind it, it's become the norm. And nobody even knows why anymore. People who know better still set prices like this, and look puzzled when you ask why. "Well, uh.... um... you know...." It's a mental virus, spread via peer pressure. Symptoms include blank expressions, pointless interjections, and compulsive coin-counting.

So what can we do to help create a world in which our children won't ask why all prices end with nine, a world in which counting change is something we do because it makes sense, not because of pinheaded sales forces?

• Ridicule sales people who use phrases like "under $75" when they really mean "it's 75 bucks, but we could use another penny for the little dish next to the cash register."

• Carry a gun. Think out loud, like: "hmm, and this one costs $125..." Shoot any salesperson who attempts to correct you with "$124.99"

• Shoot survivors a second time.

• Support businesses that recognize the fact that we've all got better things to do than count change.

With any luck, a few high-profile cases involving infected salespeople will spur the development of antibodies to this stupid fucking virus, gradually eliminating it from even grocery store shelves.

It's a bit unfair, since the salespeople who will be sacrificed to the cause are most likely not the ones who created the problem. But, like the rats that carried the plague, they must be eliminated to stop the further spread of this most tedious disease.